If Only
by kelles
Summary: This is a femmeslash pairing of SxI in the manga. Written for the LJ Community 30 kisses theme: If only I could make you mine. Seras longs for Integral. Also AxI & slight WxS. ONE SHOT. [C]


AN: This is a femme-slash pairing of SxI. Set in the manga sometime after the current storyline(volume 8). Some spoilers.

* * *

Seras Victoria watched them from a distance. Sir Integral and her Master. They were just talking of course – but still she felt jealous. They seemed to share an intimacy with each other that she didn't share with either of them herself. She hadn't even felt that way with the Captain. That had changed a little when they had shared a soul. He was gone from her mind now and Seras missed his perverted little jokes. It just wasn't the same as being intimate with someone who was alive. Or at least undead. So she watched them now, sharing a private moment, Alucard giving Integral all of his divided attention and the Hellsing enjoying the moment a little too much. Seras Victoria would have given anything at that moment if she could switch places with her Master.

She wasn't sure when it happened: When she had fallen in love with her boss, her commander, her comrade. Looking at Alucard talking to Integral was almost painful. Seras knew it was ridiculous to think that Integral would prefer her over him. He was powerful, strong, charming, and handsome. Seras didn't even know what's Integral's preference was. With her luck, Integral might only like men. Or humans.

Seras never had seen anything as beautiful as Integral Hellsing. Her long blonde hair contrasted her beautiful dark skin. Integral's blue eyes were full of the strength, determination, and honor. Although, Integral hid her body underneath suits, Seras had seen her on a few occasions in less formal attire. Her commander had the most beautiful body she had ever seen. Her breasts and hips were in perfect proportion to her body's frame. _I wish I could just touch her, kiss her just once._

She heard a noise from behind her. "Oh my God, Walter! You scared me to death. Well I am already dead – but still!" Seras grinned at the butler and moved away from the door. She didn't want her Master to know that she had been watching him and Integral.

"You could go in, Miss Victoria." The butler said with a twinkle in his eye.

"No, I just couldn't. They look like they're talking about something – it looks very private. I wouldn't want Sir Integral to think I was intruding."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind, Miss Victoria. I'll tell you a secret. Sometimes when I interrupt her and Alucard, she thanks me later." Walter winked at her.

_Does he know? How in the bloody hell could he know?_ Seras wondered. She thought she had done such a good job at hiding her feelings. "Besides why would I want to talk to Sir Integral? I was just wondering what they're talking about."

"Why indeed?" Walter asked with a smirk. "Well, if you'll excuse me, Miss Victoria, I'm going to serve Integral her tea."

"Okay Walter, I'm sorry. W-w-wait a minute, Walter."

Walter turned towards Seras, "yes, Miss Victoria?"

"I'm sure you have lots of things to do and I'm kind of bored. I could bring Sir Integral's tea for her." Seras looked at Walter quite like a puppy dog – her eyes full of hope.

"I suppose it would be okay. The tea and cups are on a tray in the kitchen. Seras – make sure you don't spill it , okay?"

"Of course, Walter.. Thank you so much!" Seras practically ran to the kitchen to get the tea. _I am so pathetic. I'm serving tea to Sir Integral just so I can be near her._

Seras was practically trembling as she walked into the room. "Sir Integral, Walter had some things to do so I have your tea."

"Come in, Seras."

Seras brought in the tea and she could not keep her eyes off of Integral. She wondered if Alucard suspected how she felt. Integral was just so beautiful – how could anyone not want her?  
Integral smiled at her and for just a second, well maybe more then just one, they stared at each other. Seras forgot for a second that her Master was in the room and got lost inside of Integral's eyes. _If only I could make Integral mine..._

"Police Girl! Is there a reason you are staring at my Master?" Alucard interrupted her moment of bliss.

"Umm, no reason really. I just kind of got lost in my thoughts." Seras giggled nervously. "I'm sorry, Sir." She quickly served Integral her tea and said goodbye.

As she was walking away, Integral called her name. "Yes, Sir?" She asked, turning around at the door.

Integral grinned at her, "Thank you, for bringing the tea." She stared at the Police Girl for a few seconds before returning her attention to Alucard.

"It was my pleasure, Sir." Seras nearly walked straight into the door she was so distracted from Integral's attention.

As she walked down the hall, Seras couldn't keep from smiling. Nothing much had happened and something had. The way Integral had looked at her for those brief seconds gave her hope. Maybe someday she could make Integral hers.


End file.
